


Knot the End of the World

by damnedapostate (ethydium)



Series: Tumblr prompts [3]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Assholes to Friends to Lovers, Breaking Up & Making Up, Chantry critical, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Knotting, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Post Chantry Boom, Templar critical, it's me beating the canon with a stick, post Kirkwall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 02:14:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14462802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethydium/pseuds/damnedapostate
Summary: After the the Chantry Boom, Hawke & Co are on the run. They find temporary refuge high in the Frostback Mountains where Anders has a chance to sort out his complicated feelings for Fenris.Also, Fenris finds a hotspring and has plans.





	Knot the End of the World

**Author's Note:**

> for the anon prompt: arguing during knotting.
> 
> This was supposed to be a short thing, but it ran away from me.
> 
> Enjoy, my dudes

Anders stirred the pot with tired movements. He felt terribly exhausted. Even though he slept whenever he could, he still couldn’t shake the feeling of apathy. He thought victory would feel more joyous. But it didn’t.

No, he didn’t feel any remorse over what he did to the Chantry. That was _just_. That was what needed to be done.

However, regarding his friends… He looked up from the meagre stew to find the others.

Hawke was checking the traps they had set out with Bethany in tow. The young mage joked about being familiar with the routine already. They had done the same while fleeing the darkspawn.

They all had a life in Kirkwall, they weren’t supposed to follow Anders. Hawke wasn’t supposed to cheer loudly when he had seen the Chantry blow up and shout, “Cheers, I’ll drink to that!”

Nor was it planned that he’d laugh an enraged Meredith in the face and declare, “Serves that pious bitch right for letting all those horrible atrocities happen. And now we’ll go to the Gallows and kill every Templar who stands against us and liberate the mages. Serves _you_ right for kidnapping my sister.”

In the end he welcomed every Templar on his side who dared to oppose Meredith. Even Cullen, but he had warned him. “You’re on very thin ice for calling my friends less than human, _Knight-Captain_.” To which Cullen just gulped and nodded, but he did behave.

*

Hawke was supposed to _kill_ him, not kneel in front of him and hug him tightly. “If you weren’t with Fenris, my friend, I’d propose right here and right now.” Still, he kissed him soundly on the lips. Hawke was like _that_. Then he laughed loudly, and pulled him up. “Time to whoop some Templar ass, Anders.”

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. None of it. He distanced himself from everyone especially for this. He called Merrill foolish and a monster for using blood magic. He condemned her for sacrificing her own life to change something in the past. But was he any better?

After the explosion, Merrill only smiled and joked about finally knowing someone else other than Isabela to light the city on fire.

Isabela wasn’t taking sides, was she? Yet she sneaked a hand around his waist on the boat to the Gallows, and invited him on her own ship. “We might even share a cabin, sweet thing,” she added with a wink. “You will sleep right between Kitten and I.”

To someone outside of their friend group, she might have sounded tasteless to proposition someone at the time, but Anders knew it wasn’t that. It was a reassurance that she still cared, but it was veiled in humour, as always.

*

Now, Merrill was busy summoning vines over the little hut, so the cruel mountain wind couldn’t penetrate the thin walls. Isabela pretended to help, but she was only making jokes about finding some better, naughtier ways to use those vines. Well, it made Merrill giggle, so it could be considered helping.

This still felt like a dream. Surreal and unfathomable. Especially, because of Fenris.

*

Anders broke up with Fenris right after he got the recipe and committed himself to his cause fully. He did it cruelly, beyond measure. Called Fenris a distraction, accused him of only using him to satisfy his _needs_. And how he was done with being a toy to someone like _Fenris_. Someone who’d rather see him tranquil then free and as an equal.

He blamed him for the failure of the Mage Underground. He went as far as admitting his suspicion that the elf betrayed him and fed information to the Templars about apostates.

He knew none of those things were true, but he had to hurt Fenris to scare him away. Because he’d rather be hated by the man he loved, than see him die for his sins. This wasn’t Fenris’ fight, and Anders could never ask Fenris to join his cause. Nor his sympathies.

So when he sat on that crate in front of the Keep, he expected angry shouting; Fenris to cry out and say how he had told Hawke he was harbouring a viper amongst his midst.

He sincerely hoped he didn’t have to hear Fenris demand his death, but it was a calculated risk.

After Hawke kissed him, and declared his plans. Anders knew his life wasn’t in danger anymore. Regardless what Fenris might have felt, he wouldn’t go against Hawke and murder his friend.

Unsurprisingly, Fenris didn’t say anything. He regarded the explosion with carefully schooled features – Anders couldn’t not check on him, even if the Chantry’s destruction was the second most beautiful thing he had ever witnessed. (The first was Fenris’ face after he first smiled at him after a kiss.)

Fenris went onto the boat without question and followed Hawke to the Gallows. He didn’t even object to fight on the mages’ side.

And of course, Isabela couldn’t stay silent about it.

“Fancy having you here, Fenris,” she said, after she had loudly invited Anders into her cabin. “En route to save mages.”

“Bethany is in the Circle also,” he said evenly, but he didn’t turn to her. He was eyeing suspiciously the slave statues, as if he wasn’t sure they wouldn’t move. Funny how it turned out to be a sensible thought.

“Is her fate your only motivation, I wonder.”

“Isabela, what have I told you about teasing a warrior with a huge blade?” interjected Hawke with a grin, but his eyes were dark.

“Let her have her fun, Hawke,” drawled Fenris in a bored voice. “We might all die in the next hour or so.”

“Spoilsport,” groaned Isabela.

“But to answer your original question, you _pirate wench_ ,” continued Fenris. And the name somehow amused Isabela to no end. “I’ve spent a decade in this rotten town. And the last half of it I spent being completely aware of the abuses committed by the Templar order. I will have a fine time opening up their chest cavities, believe me.”

“Oooh, and tell me, what changed five years ago?”

“The shore is near, Isabela. Help me dock.” Hawke’s words put an abrupt end to the discussion.

Anders stood there, gripping the ropes tightly. What happened five years ago? He didn’t know… Hadriana died, Danarius was killed and… well, _that_ happened more than six years ago.

*

On _that_ infamous night, Anders commented on Fenris’ sour expression in the Hanged Man.

“Andraste’s frilly knickers, Fenris,” he said with disdain. “You look awful. You either need a good shag or,” he waited for a moment and contemplated. He should either tell something cruel or, well, taking into account the angry clench of jaw and the other signs… “Or you need to get that tooth examined.”

“Piss off, mage.” Was his only answer.

But two days later, Fenris was knocking on his door. And after Anders let Fenris in, he quickly crowded him inside. “I’m here for a professional to examine my tooth,” he said roughly.

Anders knew he must be in pain, but that still didn’t excuse his impolite entry. So he decided to roast him a little.

“And the good shag?” he asked with raised brows.

“First make the pain stop,” said Fenris impatiently. “Then we’ll talk about the rest.”

Anders sighed, because he knew it was a lost battle. “Alright, then sit.”

It wasn’t that difficult to heal the inflamed gum, but it could have been prevented, if Fenris decided to turn to him earlier.

“You’re done.” Anders stepped away to wash and wipe his hands down.

When he turned back, Fenris was already half way to the door. “You’re welcome,” he shouted after him, but Fenris didn’t turn back. “Ungrateful bastard,” he said to the empty room.

But for him that was the end of it. Anders didn’t dwell on it any longer, and the whole thing completely slipped his mind. Up until almost a week later he was rudely woken by a very naked and very inebriated Fenris in the middle of the night.

“Fenris,” he hissed, when the elf fell forward, and he only managed to roll out from under him in the last minute. “Fenris, what the, ugh.” He proceeded to get out of the bed, because as alluring as Fenris’ body was, Anders liked his heart in its proper place, safely tucked between his lungs.

“I came to pay my fair due,” slurred Fenris.

“Impressive, but I have the donation box at the door. Or at Lirene’s shop.”

Anders didn’t wait for Fenris’ reply, he went out to his clinic and mixed together an impromptu potion. With Hawke and Isabela in his admittedly small social circle, he needed to have fast solutions for these occasions.

When he went back, Fenris was sitting on the bed, teetering slightly.

“Here,” he pushed the cup into his hands, with surprising patience. “Drink up.”

Fenris was either too drunk or completely uninterested in the potion’s contents, because he drank the whole thing in one large gulp. 

“Thank you,” Anders murmured in his sympathetic healer voice. “Now lay back and be good for me,” he said and helped Fenris back onto the bed. He tucked his sorry blanket over the elf, and Fenris was following his movements with slow, tired blinks.

Anders waited until Fenris slipped into deep sleep, then he rolled his eyes in exasperation. Now that he was up, he could pass the time with some writing.

 

With the morning came a terrible headache in the form of Fenris, tightly wrapped in his blanket. He marched straight up to Anders, and without preamble, wormed his way onto Anders’ lap.

Anders was too flabbergasted to say anything, he just raised his hands in a defensive motion, and blinked at Fenris.

“What are you doing?”

“You refused my payment last night,” Fenris hissed out angrily, shame and fury painting his face red.

“Your payment,” echoed Anders, and suddenly Justice roared in his mind and everything was clear.

They picked Fenris right up, put him on the table, then took two large steps back and stood there, staring at the elf with flashing eyes.

Justice was furious. Fenris thought so low of them that he assumed they’d expect sexual favours as payment for one insignificant ache. He argued about the injustice of the situation.

Anders had to agree with the spirit, and he was very well tempted to shove the elf right out his door, wrapped in the blanket, throw his clothes after him, and shut the door in his face.

But wasn’t it his own fault too? He played right into Fenris’ misconceptions and teased him when he shouldn’t have.

“First of all,” he started, forcing himself to remain calm. “I would never have sex with anyone unwilling.” Fenris’ eyes bulged a little, and his gaze slipped to the side.

Anders had to lean to the right and low to be able to catch his eyes again.

“Second of all, we’re all part of Hawke’s group, we’re… _associates_ , Fenris. I don’t require payment from you on the battlefield, nor do I do outside of it. And even if I did,” he pointed to the dingy box near the entrance. “It’s coin that I welcome.”

Fenris blinked at him, and he paled considerably. Even his ears drooped. He hopped down from the table and marched back to the small bedroom.

Anders shook his head, wondering how his life came to this.

When Fenris came out, not even a minute later, dressed up, but still a little worse for wear, he stood in front of Anders with a straight spine.

“I apologise for my intrusion. Good day.” And then he left with his head raised high.

Anders seriously thought that would be the end of it. But of course, he was _wrong_ about that, just as he was with everything regarding Fenris. Because the next week he was also invited to Fenris’ mansion to join Varric and Donnic playing Wicked Grace.

And some time later, he stopped leaving at night with the rest of the group.

*

Could it have been that Fenris really paid attention? Anders never tried to hide his aspirations from him, but he also didn’t rope Fenris into mage related missions.

But he couldn’t dwell on is any longer, because their little boat docked at the blood soaked island of the Gallows.

And the rest will stay in the stories for ever, or at least a mystified version written by Varric.

When Meredith turned to stone by her own hubris, Anders knew he had avenged Karl and all the other mages with him.

Then everything was a whirlwind of running to a ship in the docks, picking up luggage along the way and leaving the cursed city.

Aveline didn’t leave with them. She needed to stay as the Captain of the Guard. Anders knew, now with Varric as Viscount, she’d truly restore order.

*

Finally, out in the open sea, Anders could breathe freely. The events of the last couple of hours, weeks, months settled in his bones like heavy lead. He still couldn’t believe everything that happened. And all the rest that didn’t.

He was watching the sun set over the broad horizon – and the sight made him tear up, the tension of the day leaving his body. When he woke up that morning, he couldn’t have known if he saw the sun setting ever again.

As soon as he felt the familiar presence at his elbow, he wished it could be a normal day just spent on the sea with his friends. But it wasn’t.

“I’m sorry, Fenris,” he said slowly, without tearing his eyes away from the bloody hues of the dying day. “You were building a home in Kirkwall, and I took it from you.” _It wasn’t what I wanted._

“A home isn’t a place, mage,” sighed Fenris heavily. “But you did take it from me.” Anders gulped heavily, and braced himself for Fenris’ rightful fury. “Would you look at me?” he asked softly.

Anders turned to him, because he couldn’t refuse such a polite and gentle request.

Fenris was looking at him with earnest eyes, and without his armour, he suddenly seemed so much younger and smaller than usual. But Anders knew Fenris’ true power wasn’t entirely in his muscles, but in his diamond hard will.

“You lied to me,” Fenris said, and Anders’ stomach lurched. “I can’t forget that.”

“Fenris, I am sorry for how my actions indirectly affected you, but I won’t apologise for what I did today.” It hurt, it deeply hurt him to say this, but it was the truth. “It had to be done, there was no more room to compromise. If you hate me for it, I…” He took a deep breath. There was no point in leaving the truth unsaid. “I must live with that.” He knew about the price, but he was willing to pay it.

Fenris’ face softened, and he coaxed Anders fingers away from gripping the railing so tightly, his knuckles turned bone white.

“Once again it seems, one of us has serious misconceptions,” Fenris murmured as he raised Anders’ hands up, and kissed his knuckles. “The destruction of the Chantry didn’t shock me, Anders. I’m from Tevinter, remember? I knew full well what the ingredients to your so called secret potion were for.”

Anders couldn’t help but stare down at his hands, where he still felt Fenris’ warm mouth, and up to Fenris, who was still holding onto his hands. He wondered if he did die and this was the Fade.

“But,” Fenris continued with furrowed brows, and tightened his hold on Anders’ fingers. “You stood in front of me and lied about blaming _me_ for the Templars’ actions. You said you didn’t want to be my toy, when you were fully aware how deeply your words would cut.” Anders shuddered. “Twisted my words about tranquillity.”

“I had to,” breathed Anders. “I’d rather you hate me than be killed for my cause.”

“You… You truly expected to be executed today?” Fenris’ eyes were so big and so bright, Anders had to avert his gaze. “Then we failed you, we all did,” whispered Fenris. “I thought it was… only me you didn’t trust, but Hawke?”

“I couldn’t risk it,” admitted Anders. “I had to push you away, because… I care about you. Even if I show it terribly. And by destroying everything you have built for yourself in the past years. Your home, your—”

“Anders,” said Fenris, and stepped closer, and with dry fingers, he raised Anders’ face to look at him. „You _are_ my home.”

Anders felt tears prickle at the corner of his eyes, but he couldn’t say anything coherent to that.

“I… am?”

“Yes.” Fenris mouth quirked upwards into the secretive smile he wore around him in the past.

Anders couldn’t believe his luck, but he was tired of pulling back. So he stepped forward, and engulfed Fenris with a strong hug. He revelled in feeling Fenris melt into him, folding himself to be as close to him as possible.

“I know you were invited into the captain’s quarters,” murmured Fenris into the silly feathers of Anders’ coat. “But… my door is always open for you if… you tire of Isabela’s snoring.”

Anders snickered, and hid his wet face into Fenris’ hair.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Fenris.”

Anders hadn’t had a true night’s sleep since he lacked the warmth of Fenris from his side. So he didn’t ponder too much on the offer. After everything he had done, he would eagerly accept anything that Fenris offered to him.

Until he’d come to his senses, and realise what a terrible burden Anders was.

*

Anders stirred the cauldron again. It was close to ready, so now he needed someone to taste it.

“Isabela, come and lick the spoon,” he called out, because he couldn’t remember the last time he cracked a joke.

“Oh, I’ll lick more than just your spoon, serah!” Isabela hollered back, and behind her, Merrill was giggling too.

It turned out they both deemed his cooking acceptable. They were about to go and call the others to eat, when Bethany arrived with a pair of rabbits on her shoulders.

“Oh, it smells really good, is it ready?”

Anders didn’t pay attention to their little talk, because he saw Hawke and Fenris come back together, animatedly whispering to each other. He felt cold resignation settle in his stomach.

Hawke would be good to Fenris. A better partner than he could ever be. It was selfish anyway to keep Fenris’ affections all to himself and tie him to a sinking boat.

*

After dinner, Anders wanted to walk around the camp a bit. Just to stretch his legs a bit. But it wasn’t to be, as Fenris was next to him, gently steering him towards the other direction by his elbow.

“I have a surprise for you, mage,” he murmured, rare excitement colouring his words. “Follow me.”

Anders always liked surprises and presents, so he went willingly. It was interesting that in the middle of the mountains Fenris could find something that made him this excited.

*

When he saw the streaming pools of water he felt the same emotion bloom in his cold chest.

Anders quickly shed his clothes and jumped in. It smelled a bit odd and sulphuric, like hot waters tended to, but it was bearable. Fenris was quick to follow his example and soon they were floating next to each other.

Anders was reminded how far away in the past they had the opportunity to have some privacy. On the ship and on land during their travels, they were always surrounded by strangers and had to keep a low profile.

They were always close, snuggled together every night, but it wasn’t the same. But this? This was something else.

“How do you like it?” asked Fenris, while swimming around him lazily.

Anders felt like a fish that was circled by a shark. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just exciting. It’s been some time since Fenris ravished him.

“It’s very nice,” he murmured, following Fenris lean form dip in and out of the water. “Did you find this place alone?”

Fenris frowned a bit, then nodded. “Yes, I came across these pools while I was scouting. I told Hawke about it, and I also warned him that we’d be… spending some time here.” He smiled wickedly, with a playfulness Anders thought was lost on the road. “So he’ll ensure we have some privacy.”

Anders’ chest started to ache from the sudden acceleration of his heart rate. Privacy was a rare comfort for fugitives.

“That sounds delightful.” He swam up to Fenris and put his arms around his neck. He was always greedy for touch, especially for Fenris’. And now he planned to gorge on it. Who knew when would the next time be. If there were even one.

He kissed Fenris’ mouth softly, and he could have moaned at the taste. When was the last time they kissed? He didn’t even remember. “I missed you,” he admitted with a whisper against Fenris’ plush lips.

Fenris circled his waist with his arms and pulled him flush against himself. Oh, Anders missed this too. The tight, confident hold against his skin. Sometimes it felt like Fenris was holding him together and without him, Anders might turn to dust.

Anders suddenly slithered out of the embrace, and swam backwards, inviting Fenris to a silly game of tag, just to tease him a little.

A couple of minutes was enough to get Fenris into the playful chase, and he mock-slammed Anders into a flat rock. Finally, finally kissing him into compliance.

Anders wrapped his legs around him eagerly. The feel of the cold hardness of the stone against his back in contract with the soft smoothness of Fenris chest to his took his breath away.

He procured oil and let it dribble from his fingers to Fenris’ and spread himself open for him.

Fenris opened him with practiced motions, kissing over his face and neck. He knew exactly how to make Anders wild with passion.

When he finally entered Anders, they both sighed in relief. It’s been too long since they shared something so intimate.

“Kaffas, you're tight,” groaned Fenris. “Maybe I shouldn't— “he murmured, but Anders interrupted his worried sentence.

“No, give me all of it,” he whined. “Give me your fat knot too.” He put his hands low on his stomach and with a small burst of creation magic he helped his muscles to relax. “I’m ready, I want it,” he babbled inanely, then added the sure fire expression, “want _you_!”

Fenris bit his collarbone and neck, and Anders keened. He was stretched around Fenris to the brim, and his knot was nowhere near fully inflated. It teased along his rim, and he bucked eagerly. He didn’t even remember being this desperate for it. But now he was, he was frantic with the need.

Fenris pulled back and resorted to swallow, teasing thrusts, enjoying as Anders started panting and beg him with low whines and whimpers.

“Don’t hold out on me, please,” Anders begged loudly. “Please, please, fill me with your knot, Fenris!”

“Venhedis,” cursed Fenris. He hoisted Anders up, kneeling back into the shallow water. “Then take it. Take it all,” he groaned, biting sharply into Anders’ shoulder, careful not to draw blood.

Like this, Anders could put his feet down and ground himself down hard, letting the knot slip inside. Anders’ head fell back, and he stopped moving for a moment. He was shaking slightly from the intensity of it, and Fenris kissed his jaws and peppered light kisses all over his face. Kissing his cheeks, his mouth, his nose, his eyes and forehead.

“Alright?” he asked Anders, and hugged him closer, splashing some water onto his goosebumped arms.

“Better than,” Anders croaked with a stupid grin, and started squirming. He couldn’t get up very far, but he could wiggle and tighten his muscles to coax an orgasm out of Fenris.

Soon Fenris’ eyes crossed from pleasure as he was sucking bruises into Anders’ neck and chest.

“Come in me, please,” Anders whispered into Fenris’ ear, letting his lips tease the sensitive outer shell. “Fill me, fill me with your creamy come.”

Fenris shuddered at that, and felt his knot swell to its final size, locking their bodies together tightly. Anders squeezed hard around him which made him black out a little as he spilled deep inside him.

Anders’ hugged him close, enjoying the strong pressure Fenris’ knot put on his prostrate. He was so close, Fenris only had to tug lazily at his erection a couple of times to push him over the edge.

“If memory serves me right,” murmured Fenris, as he let his teeth graze over Anders’ neck. “You have two more in you.” With a small laugh, he trusted his hips a little forward, making Anders’ spine curve. “Or maybe three, hm?”

“Anything for you,” breathed Anders.

Fenris smiled at him, truly, without reserve. The secret smile only Anders got, nobody else. Then he tucked a lock of hair behind his ears, and kissed Anders languidly.

“I should hope so, silly mage,” he murmured, then caressed a finger over Anders’ spine. He pulled it further down, and teased his fingertip around Anders’ stretched out hole. “I wonder if we could fit anything else in there.”

Anders’ breathing hitched, and his cock jumped between their bodies.

“Oh, look at you, how eager just at the mention of more,” laughed Fenris softly, and pushed down on Anders’ taint. “Greedy, aren’t you?” he hummed cheerfully. “I wish we had a toy with us,” he murmured secretively into Anders’ ears, making him moan wantonly.

As Fenris talked, he started caressing his fingers over Anders’ silky soft cock. “Imagine the fun we could have with that.”

Anders shuddered as Fenris’ thumb ghosted over the head of his cock. And then Fenris’ knot throbbed inside him, and he lost it and spilled once again.

“Ah, ah,” he panted, then averted his eyes. He was roughly yanked back into reality. “I’m sorry.”

Fenris lazily looked up from trying to recreate a love bite on Anders’ right pectoral. “For what?”

“For… this.” Anders knew it was nor the time, neither the place for this argument. “For forcing you into running. For— “

“Enough,” snapped Fenris. “We aren’t having this argument tied together,” he said forcefully. He kissed Anders’ collar bone angrily. Because he was able to convey such an emotion with a quick press of his lips. “I can’t believe you,” he snarled, rolling his hips involuntarily. “You evade me, refuse to talk to me for months, only coming near me to sleep, and when we’re finally taking a break, you want to open this bag of worms. While I’m still emptying my balls into you, might I add.”

Anders gave a pathetic chortle. “You know I’m not famous for my sense. But for blowing up the Chantry in Kirkwall,” he added with a thin voice edging on hysterics.

“I think Isabela would say you’re famous for your great ass,” murmured Fenris conversationally, which earned him an angry glare. “After the Chantry, of course.”

“You should be angry,” snapped Anders, cradling Fenris face and pulling him close. “I crippled your future, don’t you see? By coming with me, I doomed you to a lifetime of exile”

“Don’t tell me what I should or shouldn’t feel,” hissed Fenris, and bit into Anders’ lower lip gently, then tugged at it.

Anders couldn’t stop the whine that escaped him. Why haven’t they tried angry sex before?

“Some might argue I should have died on that cursed table in Danarius’ operating-room.” At the mention of his name, Fenris winced. He would have never thought to say that out loud while being balls deep in Anders. “But I didn’t. One might say you’d deserved to die on that day in front of the Keep.”

“But I didn’t,” finished the sentence Anders petulantly. “Still, you must admit,” he continued, but stopped, because Fenris’ knot jostled inside of him, sending waves and waves of pleasure coursing through his body. “I made you sign your own death sentence.”

Fenris kissed the desperate sounds straight from Anders’ chapped lips, as he wrapped his fingers around Anders’ straining erection and twisted them quickly.

Anders’ spine once again curved, and he came while glaring triumphantly at Fenris.

“Kaffas, Anders,” groaned Fenris, shaking from the force with which Anders’ insides gripped his still hard knot. “I’m not happy with how things turned out. And I’m still trying to learn how to live with it. We all do.”

Anders sighed in exasperation, and rolled his hips to tease Fenris further. “This can only end in tragedy,” he said bitterly, shaking from sensitivity.

As if on cue, the snow started falling slowly, and Anders tipped his head back to catch some on his tongue. It was one of his childhood dreams.

“Only with this attitude,” groaned Fenris and shook his head to get the snow out of his bangs. “I think this can also end with you coming at least once more,” he said with a wicked grin, and Anders huffed. “If only you shut up,” he sighed wistfully, biting roughly at Anders bruised lips.

Anders keened silently, then twisted himself slightly. “Turn around, lean against the rocks,” he demanded petulantly, and Fenris complied.

“Aren’t you cold?” Fenris asked gently, as he slowly moved into the position Anders desired. “We can dip down and come back again?”

Anders shook his head, then squinted at Fenris. “Are _you_ cold?” he asked suspiciously. The steam was hugging them closely, but Fenris always required more insulation. “Should I warm you up?” he asked and fluttered his fingers.

Fenris glared at his fingers, then nodded gracefully. “Please,” he said magnanimously. He hadn’t counted on the snowfall when he decided to knot Anders in the open.

Anders cradled Fenris’ head and let a small spell loose – the magic curled around Fenris’ body, igniting the lyrium in its wake. “Better?”

“Much better, yes,” Fenris hummed, and hugged Anders closer to his body. “I know you, Anders,” he whispered lowly. He knew the knot will soon go down, and then Anders would once again flee from the bitter truths. “I know when you put on a fake smile, while retreating so far into your own mind that you can’t see what’s really going around you.”

“Are you saying I’m delusional?” snorted Anders angrily, but caressed Fenris’ arms gently.

“I’m saying that you fabricate your own ideas about people and assume the worst,” murmured Fenris, all the while not letting Anders avoid his eyes. “I know you are afraid _, fasta vass_ , I am terrified for you.”

Anders’ sighed shakily, feeling his heart fill with ice cold worry and his mind with cruel thoughts.

“And what I also know is why you’re keen on going to Orzammar,” he added, and Anders paled.

_No, Fenris couldn’t possibly know!_

“You plan to slip inside the Deep Roads while we aren’t looking.”

Anders chuckled softly, and averted his eyes. “Damn, you’re good.”

“Anders, look at me,” asked Fenris, and Anders turned back to him. “I know you didn’t ask us to make this sacrifice for you, but we did. I did it willingly and fully aware of the consequences. And I have no regrets regarding my decision.”

Anders blinked rapidly, trying to stop the prickling at the corner of his eyes.

Fenris smiled at him and kissed his nose. “If there is a future to be had, I will walk into it gladly at your side.” _Just don’t push me away, don’t leave me behind._

“Would you,” he started slowly, his voice strained by his emotions. “tell the world that you love an apostate and you will stand by him?”

Fenris nodded. “Yes, I swear,” he said solemnly.

Anders sniffed once, and nodded. “I won’t abandon you, I swear to you,” he whispered, then added awkwardly. “love.”

Fenris’ whole face brightened at that and wrapped his hands around Anders to wring one last orgasm out of him, before his knot would deflate.

*

As they walked back towards the camp, they were holding hands and grinning like idiots. The future seemed a lot brighter now. Finally, Anders felt the easy joy he so wished to.

They entered the little hut, now blissfully hot and sealed against the elements, thanks to Merrill.

Anders expected some wolf whistles, but he wasn’t prepared for Merrill coming up to them and pulling them into a tight embrace.

“Congratulations, may Sylaise bless you with many years of happiness!”

“Thank you, Merrill,” murmured Anders, and patted her awkwardly on the back. He glanced at Fenris, who seemed a big flushed.

“Yes, thank you, Merrill,” said Fenris. He looked relieved when Merrill pulled back and sit back to her previous place next to Bethany.

“I doubt you’d have to congratulate them for having sex,” snickered Isabela. Bethany tried to hide his laughter behind her hands, but her brother wasn’t so polite. He laughed openly.

“Even I’m not naïve enough to think it was their first,” added Bethany amiably.

“Oh, it’s not just sex,” Merrill informed the party baldly. “According to Dalish law, they’re married now.”

In the stunned silence of the little hut Merrill started explaining the customs of Dalish marriage, but Anders was blind and deaf to it, he turned around and pulled Fenris outside to the starry night.

After they were well outside of earshot, he turned to Fenris, completely stunned.

“Mages aren’t allowed to marry,” he drawled. “The Chant says,” he started, but then stopped talking abruptly, because Fenris smiled at him.

“The Dalish have no Chant objecting to a lifetime spent with your love,” informed him Fenris gently. “At least, that’s what Merrill said to me,” he admitted with a blush that reached to the tips of his ears.

Anders blinked twice, then pinched himself. Justice stirred inside him, and confirmed that they were in the waking world fully. It wasn’t the fade.

“And only if you’re alright with that,” mumbled Fenris. “Spending your life with me, I mean.”

“Yes,” Anders hastened to say that. “Yes, this life, the next and every other after it.”

“Good,” was all Fenris could say in reply, and let himself be pulled to the most scorching kiss he had ever received from Anders.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to send me prompt @damnedapostate.tumblr.com


End file.
